Friday, April 17, 2009

Being A Mom

I followed a Global Voices link to a cool idea. A mother in Canada proposed asking women all over the world to write about what they like or don't like about being a mom. I need a life-affirming task right now and think I want to play. Granted, as a mom, I'm sort of a retiree, but only sort of. My kids are in their mid-twenties, have careers of their own and live on another continent, but that's my family and in fact it's been like that from Day One, though at first it was the kids and me on one continent and my husband on the other.

When I was in grad school I was buddies with a clinical grad student for a lot of departmental activities. Someone somewhere figured out that we could be counted on to help out with almost anything. Her nickname was Doc and mine was Mom. I was a few years older than most of the students, but unmarried and certainly not a mom. I did, however, really, really want to have kids someday and finally achieving a son and a daughter thrilled me to death. I was lucky enough to be able to afford to be a full-time mom since my husband traveled so much, but there were things that I loved and things that I definitely did not love.

Loves:

Watching my kids expand and explore their world, that light going on when they suddenly figure out a new idea and share it.

Bedtime stories. I got to read a lot of good literature over the years.

The odd sms appearing out of the blue on my phone to tell me that everything is fine and I'm loved.

Baking Christmas cookies that manage to get red, green and white frosting ALL over the kitchen.

The Muppet Show...it didn't count in their TV allotment when they were little because we all loved it.

The fact that you never really get to stop being a mom.




Not Loves:

Those late, late nights with a sick kid when all your eyes want to do is close.

Having to accept the fact that there are days when they just aren't going to like you.

Trying to get them to clean their own rooms...finally gave up and made a deal that I wouldn't criticise but I wouldn't help them find anything either.

Taking a deep breath and stilling the panic in the heart when something goes wrong...even when it's homework that was "forgotten" the night before. Sometimes it is their problem, not mine.

Not giving advice when I'd so like to do so but recognise that sometimes kids have to figure it out for themselves.

The fact that you never really get to stop being a mom.

copyright 2009 Maryanne Stroud Gabbani

6 comments:

Connie said...

These are good :) I love them, esp. that it never ends! Being a mom is the hardest, and best job I ever hope to have :) (except maybe grandma!)

David said...

This is excellent - glad you could join us!

Jaz said...

Excellent post, I can't understand or relate fully because I'm not a mother myself - but I enjoy your writing and I love reading about Egypt. The blog is great, thanks for posting!

Roxanne said...

Thank you for your blog. I recently discovered it when I was searching for the meaning of "yani" (يعني). One of my classmates in Arabic (who is from Egypt) uses it frequently and I wanted to know how to spell it and what it means. I was blessed to find your blog.

Your entry regarding motherhood really struck a chord. I am the single mother of an almost-sixteen-year-old daughter. I love her and I love being her mother. I had to smile when you wrote about "having to accept the fact that there are days when they just aren't going to like you." And about giving up on trying to get children to clean their own rooms. And especially about "taking a deep breath and stilling the panic in the heart when something goes wrong...even when it's homework that was 'forgotten' the night before."

I greatly enjoy your blog and look forward to reading future entries.

Roxanne (an Arabic student in the US)

styro said...

Maryanne, I just wanted to let you know that I think your flickr account has been hacked. Might want to check it. :)

Maya said...

great blog Maryanne, keep it up, i will be reading!